The Last Resonance!!

12:47 AM 11 September 2012

Villa de’ Gregory!

A ray of misfits scrambled upon thou door…whistle, knock, and consequently, some sighs!!

It has been almost three years; may be more than that. I saw the winter here, and I saw the night crawl. Here I wrote highs of my life, and definitely vowed for the lows. VDG will always be an enigma in my subconscious. Period.

A new chapter shall begin from today. I shall lead, and endow upon challenges unknown. I shall dare the rain, and shall make the winter bow. I shall rise once again.

I mumble and mumble again!

Blues v.9

And you thought I would be over these chest pains by now! I still have them; sudden, slight, and right on the top ventricle or whatever! Life has not at all changed over the last one year. Yeah, I am in the fancy corporate world, I conquer international trade every minute of the working (!) hours, but deep down inside, I am still as scared as I was one year ago.

I am still failing to manage my personal life. As my boss uttered during the mid-year review, I still am lacking confidence. I am still searching the core that will stop moving so fuckin* fast that will eventually lead to a peaceful balance. I still am searching for that.

Every time I get a tiny tinsy bit excited about something, all those voodoo people ruins it for me. Its like the time of that fall, when I was there, but in reality, I wasn’t there at all. I feel cold and confused.

I think life gives you chances every now and then. I know it because I have been that blessed. But somehow, I am still learning to catch on to them. I want to convert them to reality, but they are as adamant as are my bosses mood swings.

Well, I don’t feel like going for it anymore. Should I just give up? Argh…

Paused January & That Wicked Illuminati

5 months.

A long pause and a knock on the door. The moment had arrived; once again!

In biblical worlds, some unknown minds once discovered that moments can very surely not change the course of events; but they can direct. A well directed moment supported by well played actions can win you that golden lady every year. For some of us, it takes a pause (well, may be a longer pause) to realize this fact and then to act on it.

13 has always been my lucky number. Like May, 13 has always showered me with chances. And always, it made sure that I pulled up my lazy butt from the chair to grab those ringlets of fortune.

Bankers don’t bet. To be very honest, we are the most defensive individuals you’ll ever come across. Yes, we like to play GOD when we are trying to win, and yes, we might charm our way through your door to settle that big fat deal, but be very sure that we are only doing it because a series of calculations assured us of your worth. We calculate, and we always believe that the numbers will be able to take on any intangible variable that comes along our way.

Until I took a pause, and changed this routine.

I waved goodbye to my comfort zone, and took the key to the next dimension. I won. Well, at least that is how it seems right now. I got the ticket, and again, 13 played its part.

2013

A new chapter will usher its lights upon me. I took the bet, threw out my calculator, and grabbed that letter like a lottery ticket. This might as well be my exit ticket; only time can tell.

I took another pause. A longer one.

I picked up the calculator, opened that excel file, and am running through the numbers again. I cannot just let the moment direct my actions alone. I need to to win again. I have to make the ticket work. I must. Well you know, old habits die hard.

And, I work again…

Unabridged Mist & A Few Clauses!

A simple, but elegant watch lay down on the black velvet. The hands were ticking…ticking, and ticking. Time was essence, and it always had been. The watch still lay on the black velvet.

Simplest things can always have the hardest meanings. You think that one smile, one minute gesture would mean that everything is alright, that there is nothing to worry about, and definitely not to hit the panic button. But, has it ever been that simple?

Life is a work in progress. We need to work harder and buy those precious times from the clock hand. It lies on the velvet, but does definitely takes its toll to release those few seconds of freedom. And the toll is higher for more successful endeavors. Every success costs you more to purchase minutes of precious times. But again, you do it; you buy those minutes to celebrate your name, your brand, and most importantly, yourself.

Time passes by; the black velvet slowly turns grey…costing you the highest. You draw a deep breath, and yet buy the last minute from the clock. The hands are still ticking…waiting for a new velvet.

Clay & The Masons!

January went by in a jiffy; I did things that I had not done before. I boarded a plane, and again, boarded it in 15 minute’s notice! I went sailing in mid-sea, and hey, I tasted unprocessed crab. A lot of stuffs happened throughout January…and it all felt good.

Bankers don’t usually get a good start with a year; especially, not in their personal life. Well, things changed a bit in mine in this year. I rolled up my sleeve, and dug out the crazy in me. I took a break from the monotonous and created an enigma that only posed mockery to my old life. Now, I should not brag, but again, who’s watching. I thank GOD for his gracious kindness in my life.

Work, on the other hand, had experienced some ups and downs lately. I lost my everything with a massive crash, and had to rebuild my empire with tons of borrowed docs, and files. Meanwhile, to my utter disbelief, my portfolio was snatched away from me, and I was handed over to the DIC(K)tator to sum up the horrible story (PS: I now do office on Saturday too, along with a 14-hours-a-day week).

The chaos however has not changed anything for me personally. I still feel the change within me, and off course, I feel it in a positive way. I have conquered the condemned bridge of sanity, drove 90 kilos in a highway, and more to add, submitted my application for MFRM.

All I hope now is to be calm, and avenge all those lost weeks of life with a strong command. I need to be focused, and work hard to get what I deserve. I will not bow down to any mystiques, I will not tolerate any bars, but only will work towards accomplishing my goals. Keeping that in mind, I end my story today…cheers!

 

PS: Nothing is everything; period.